Is it just me, or does everybody seem mad about something lately?
Politically, people are mad. Socially, people are mad. Drivers on the road are mad. Geopolitically, people are mad. Friends are mad at each other.

I know this isn’t a new problem. This is part of the whole human condition. Our nature that we carry with us every day. But it feels worse now than it did even a few years ago.

The other day I was scrolling LinkedIn and came across a post. Pretty innocent. The person was asking for opinions. That was it. But the comments section? It was a mess. Name-calling. Disrespect. People taking shots at each other. I just sat there thinking, “Really? This is where we’re at?”

We live in a society where having an opinion is not enough. We feel the need to instantly broadcast it. And not just broadcast…it often has to be sharp, cutting, maybe even a little cruel. It’s like the digital version of what I remember from grade school. Someone would yell, “Fight!” and everyone would come running.

That’s where we are now. Except the fight never ends. It’s always one click away.

Our Digital Gossip Habit

What’s wild is how normalized this has become. We’ve turned gossip into a digital right, and for some people, almost a digital responsibility.

Think about it. We’ve got podcasts that run for months about the failures of specific ministry leaders. We’ve got “watchdog” websites chronicling mistakes a leaders has made. We’ve got camera footage from sporting events or concerts where people are caught in a bad moment and then they get furiously roasted online.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I believe in accountability. We desperately need it. But I keep asking myself: what happens when our pursuit of accountability gets hijacked by our obsession with getting the first or last word, negativity, fairness, outrage, or just wanting to be right?

At what point does choosing criticism over grace become the habit of our lives, even for people who say they follow Jesus?

Media Feeds It. We Repeat It.

Turn on the news. Scroll your feed. How often do you walk away feeling encouraged?

It’s almost never. The stories that grab our attention are almost always the ones that trigger outrage, sadness, or judgment. We live in a culture wired to amplify criticism and negativity. And here’s the part that stings: if we’re not careful, our churches and ministries can start perpetuating the same behavior without even realizing it.

As leaders in faith communities, we’re supposed to be the ones setting a different tone. We’re called to live by a different standard. To model something better.

But are we?

I’ll be the first to admit, I struggle here too.

There are times when I think I’ve got it under control. I feel like I’m in the right posture. Ready to respond with patience, kindness, and Christlikeness. And then something happens. Somebody cuts me off. Somebody says something out of line. Somebody posts something ridiculous.

And before I know it, I’m right there with everyone else, ready to snap back, judge, or blow up.

If you’ve ever felt the same way, I want you to know you’re not alone. This is hard. It’s daily. And it takes intentional effort to respond differently.

Two Practices That Help Me

There are two simple things I’ve been leaning on that help me navigate these moments.

1. Remember James 1:19

“Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”

This is one of those verses I need on repeat. Sometimes I literally have to say it out loud to myself over and over again. It helps shift me back to a listening posture instead of a reactionary one.

It’s simple, but it works. Slow down. Breathe. Listen. Don’t rush to speak. Don’t let anger be the first emotion out the door.

2. Craig Ferguson’s Three Questions

A mentor once gave me this piece of advice, and I’ve gone back to it so many times. It originally came from comedian Craig Ferguson, and it’s this:

Before you say anything, ask yourself three questions:

• Does this need to be said?
• Does this need to be said by me?
• Does this need to be said by me right now?

That framework has saved me from saying a lot of things I would have regretted. It’s so simple, but it creates a pause. And that pause is everything.

Why This Matters for Ministry Leaders

If you’re leading a church, a school, a nonprofit, or a faith-based business, this matters more than you think. People are watching us. They are expecting us to be hypocritical. They’re watching how we handle conflict. They’re watching how we respond to criticism. They’re watching what we post online.

Our reactions either fuel the fire of outrage or demonstrate the possibility of another way.

Think about the tone your ministry sets. Are you helping your people see the good in others? Are you giving them a model of patience, grace, and wisdom? Or are you unintentionally mirroring the outrage of the culture around us?

I don’t think any of us set out to become critical leaders. But unless we are intentional, it just happens. The current of negativity is strong. If you’re not swimming against it, you’re drifting with it.

A Few Practical Suggestions

Here are a few practices I’m trying to lean into. Maybe they’ll be helpful for you too:

Limit your outrage diet. If you know certain podcasts, news sources, or accounts just fuel your anger, turn them off. You don’t need more fuel on the fire.

Choose gratitude daily. This might sound cliché, but it works. Write down a few things you’re thankful for every morning. Gratitude makes it harder for bitterness to take root.

Celebrate stories of good. Share them with your people. Highlight them in your church or organization. Goodness is contagious, but it needs a spotlight.

Respond slowly. When something triggers you, wait before responding. Even if it’s just five minutes. That pause can turn a reaction into a thoughtful response.

Model accountability. When you do mess up (because we all do), own it. Say sorry. Ask forgiveness. Let people see you live out repentance. That might be the most powerful example you set.

Wrapping This Up

So yeah, it feels like everybody is mad about something these days. But that doesn’t mean we have to join the crowd.

As leaders, parents, friends, and followers of Jesus, we get the chance to set a different tone. To show that patience, grace, and love are still possible. To prove that slowing down, listening well, and responding wisely actually work.

I’m not perfect at this. I’m guessing you aren’t either. But if we can take small steps like remembering James 1:19, asking ourselves introspective questions, and leaning into gratitude we can make a real difference in the circles we influence.

Maybe, just maybe, our people will notice. And maybe they’ll start doing the same.