Ideas to Consider for Developing Mentors

When I got hired to be a Creative Arts Director, I didn’t have any models for that type of ministry. Which meant there was a lot of trial and error on my part. This can be common for anyone stepping into ministry for the first time. I came to realize that I didn’t know much about what I was doing, but I had some goals and I was working toward accomplishing them. But I struggled if my goals were right, I didn’t know if my approach was right, I didn’t even know if my attitude was right.

So, I decided to reach out to some other ministry leaders I respected. I intentionally went to people who at the time didn’t have my same job title and didn't know me well. I simply approached each of them and said, “I need your help.” It was a good moment of humility for me. Thankfully, the people I went to we're excited to help walk through this with me. I started meeting with them regularly. It began to stretch me as a ministry leader. There was never a shortage of learning more about myself, as a leader, as a husband, and as a new ministry leader. These mentoring relationships taught me there was always more that I needed to learn. They taught me there were things about my personality and leadership style that were both good and needed work. As leaders who were further along in the ministry journey, they could gently point out areas of struggle. And they weren't afraid to say things about themselves that they had figured out along the way. This encouraged me take steps in the right directions. As I grew, others came under me to be mentored.

Here are a Few Ideas on Mentorship Development:

Mentoring and Being Mentored 

It doesn't matter if you are the executive director of a $50M-a-year nonprofit, you need to both be mentored and be mentoring someone else. Not only are you missing an opportunity, you are missing out on being better. It’s surprising to me that most of the ministry leaders we interact with don’t have mentors, and they’re not mentoring someone else.  Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that a “mentee” always must be a young person. Someone could be 80 years old and they’re still learning from someone, perhaps younger than them. Putting this into practice keeps you young in your thinking, fresh in your perspective, and open to the idea that you may not have all the answers. We should always be learning and always be teaching. 

Seek to be a Courageous Truth-teller.

The faith-based community does a really good job of telling people what they want to hear. We don’t want to hurt people’s feelings or offend. However, growth from a mentoring relationship only comes when we’re open, vulnerable, and honest with each other. We tend to have the perspective that we all must have our stuff together at any given point. The reality is, we don’t have it all figured out. True growth can only happen when we’re willing to say, “I messed up,” “I was wrong,” or “I need help.” By being a courageous truth-teller about yourself in these types of relationships also allows your mentor to be a courageous truth-teller with you. Be a courageous truth-teller about your own struggles and be a courageous (and gracious) truth-teller to those you’re mentoring about areas in which you and they may need to grow.

Mentoring should be about the relationship.

The best mentoring relationships happen when we're less concerned about checking off a certain number of boxes, and more concerned about the condition of someone’s heart. The condition of our heart is more important than the number of things we’ve done right or wrong in whatever leadership role we have. Your ability to pour into someone is more important than your ability to help structure their calendar, their to-do list or how they speak with people. Those things are important, but they’re secondary. Because if the condition of someone’s heart is not being shaped and improved, then everything else is just tactics and that is just surface level. If we’re going to be courageous truth-tellers, we’ve got to get to the heart.