When I was young, I was very shy. Growing up in a ministry family often required me to be in social settings, which made me uncomfortable. I loved my upbringing but found getting on stage intimidating. Despite feeling sick before performing, I participated because our family wore many hats in starting churches.

Several factors contributed to my shyness, including health issues and comparisons with my dad. My dad is my hero, and I aspire to his level of character and love for others. However, our differing personalities sometimes made me struggle. He’s a charismatic, well-spoken communicator and a people person, while I preferred being at home writing computer programs.

I faced the reality that I was an introvert, which made me feel lonely at times. I once asked my dad for advice on making friends and building relationships. He advised me to be myself but also to be proactive: to be a friend to have friends and to volunteer to get involved. He encouraged me to become a better version of myself, for which I am grateful.

As I got older, my roles required a higher level of proactivity and extroversion. As a worship pastor, I had to stand on stage, build a team, give directions, and be in charge, which was all new to me. This required me to adopt a more extroverted persona, engaging more with people and learning about them. Despite the exhaustion after big presentations or social events, I came to appreciate these interactions and even enjoyed them.

However, I began to take on characteristics that weren’t truly mine, trying to emulate dynamic, social leaders I admired. This led to a sense of narcissism and unhealthy pride. I realized I was still an introvert who loves people, and it’s okay not to be the life of the party.

This self-awareness helped me understand that many ministry leaders struggle with similar issues. We should strive for growth and improvement while balancing our unique wiring. We must embrace our individuality and lead from our own strengths instead of imitating others.

Scripture shows God’s unique design for each of us. He made us unique for a reason, and we should embrace that. 

Leaders, embrace the way God has wired you. Don’t sacrifice your individuality for success. Be yourself, be proactive in your calling, and leave the rest to Him.

How can you balance the need for personal growth with staying true to your unique personality?