So many times when we get into conversations with ministries about communication, we end up talking about something else entirely: conflict. Sometimes it’s rooted in misunderstandings. Other times it’s tied to ego, territory, or unresolved relational dynamics. The truth is, conflict can show up in ministry settings more often and more intensely than in typical business environments.

Why? Because the stakes feel higher. There’s purpose and meaning in the work. People deeply care. And when people care, emotions run deep. Some of the most heated, painful fights I’ve ever seen have happened in nonprofits and churches, not boardrooms.

If you’ve been leading a ministry for any length of time, you’ve had to deal with conflict, maybe more often than you’d like.

Let me share a personal story where a conflict could have derailed a client relationship. Thankfully, it didn’t. In fact, it turned into a partnership and a friendship that’s been fruitful for years.

A while back, we were working with an organization that had multiple directors overseeing different departments. We were brought in at the executive level after many conversations about improving both internal and external communication across the ministry. The leadership wanted us to support the communication efforts organization-wide.

But here’s where things got bumpy: those conversations at the top hadn’t really filtered down. So when I walked into my first meeting with the directors, the vibe was tense. Awkward introductions. A lot of assumptions. And within minutes, some conflict.

Everyone had different expectations and different barriers to us being involved.

One of the most difficult conversations in the aftermath was with a director named Mitch. Mitch had been in a key strategic leadership role for quite a while. His work directly touched both departmental and organization-wide communication. From his perspective, my presence threatened his job. And to be honest, he had every right to feel that way.

What made it worse? I hadn’t been fully briefed on who Mitch was, what his role involved, or the depth of his expertise. So I came in unprepared, not just for the meeting, but for the value he brought to the table. That’s on me.

When the day came for our one-on-one meeting, I tried to come in with an open mind. No agenda. Just hoping to listen. But Mitch wasn’t given much context either. So he showed up ready to defend his work, his value, and his place in the ministry.

You could feel the tension in the room.

There had been a long history of consultants coming and going, often leaving confusion or frustration behind. So here I was, yet another consultant, and it felt like I was walking straight into a wall of resistance.

But somewhere in the middle of that hard conversation, we both realized something: the real problem wasn’t between us. The problem was the miscommunication that happened before we even met.

We were sitting across the table, essentially pointing fingers at each other, and something clicked. What if instead of being on opposite sides, we sat on the same side of the table? What if we saw the real issue, the breakdown in communication, as the shared problem?

And that’s what we did, both figuratively and emotionally. We started talking about how things had been miscommunicated. We acknowledged the gaps. And once we did that, something shifted.

Now, it doesn’t always work out this way. But what made this experience so powerful was that Mitch, despite not knowing me, genuinely cared. He cared about the ministry. He cared about the relationships. And he cared about honest, open communication.

Since then, we’ve become strong collaborators and teammates in the work of improving communication throughout the organization. Mitch has stepped into even more leadership responsibility over the years, and it’s been incredible to watch.

What are the takeaways in all this?

1. Miscommunication is everywhere.

No matter how good your systems or intentions, misunderstandings happen. Expect it, prepare for it, and address it.

2. Conflict is often solved by perspective.

Sometimes the solution is as simple as getting on the same side of the table, literally or metaphorically, and tackling the issue together. Shared perspective changes everything.

3. Humility is essential.

It takes courage to admit you misunderstood or that you were wrong. But that humility is the key to building trust and moving forward.